I recently watch an Oprah that has got me thinking. Damn that Oprah. This may offend some people but it's my blog so I don't really care. I am not even sure that this is the place to write this since it is supposed to be a family blog and not a personal one but I decided again, I didn't care and was going to write it here any ways.
I have been meaning to do it for days but haven't had the chance and now as I sit down thinking I had some free time, Kayla just woke up. Hmmmmmm.....Which is kind of funny because the topic is on Motherhood.
The show I watched was on Motherhood Behind the Scene. It was supposed to be everything you didn't know about being a mom. There were parts of it that were hysterical. Like when the one mother confessed that she cries in front of her kids because her kids don't like it and they stop being bad when she does this. Or the mother who confessed that one time she was on a road trip and had the kids by herself and they had all just fallen asleep when she realized she had to pee. Rather then stopping and waking all the kids up, she peed in one of their diapers! I totally feel her pain on that one, although I definitely would not have done it myself. Another one forgot to bring diapers on an air plane when alone with her 6 month old and had the flight attendants help her make a diaper with maxi pads and toilet paper. Those stories were very entertaining and helps me as a mom realize that these things happen when raising kids and not to feel bad or to feel like a bad mom when something goes wrong. However, there were several things that I just did NOT agree with. They made it sound like every single mother at some point regrets having kids or that every mom is secretly miserable. I'm sorry but that is not the case with me. I have never ONCE regretted having kids! I LOVE my kids to death and I would do anything for them. Do I occasionally yell at them and get frustrated and need some alone time? HECK YEAH! But I have never for one second wished them away permanently.
There was one mom who really shocked me. She said that what surprised her most about being a mom is that no one told her that it wasn't like in the movies. Okay, that was obvious to me. But then she went on to say, "No one told me that I wouldn't love my baby right away!" I think she said it took her like 6 months to be totally in love with her first or something like that and this just isn't right to me. I loved my baby the second I found out I was pregnant. Then when he was born and placed into my arms, I knew at that very moment that I would love and protect him as long as him or I was alive! I honestly don't understand someone not loving their baby when they were born! I thought maybe it was just me and I mention it to Cody. He said the same thing as me. He said that the second Tyler was placed in his arms his heart melted. How could someone who WANTED the pregnancy NOT love their baby right away! To me it just doesn't make sense. I also know there are people out there who love the first kid more then the ones who come after. I just can't wrap my brain around this either. Kayla has been so wonderful and I probably kiss her between 50 and 100 times a day. When I look at her and then look over at Tyler, there is no way in my mind I can agree in the slightest bit with people who have this type of thinking. I love my kids both so much and would never be able to say I love one more then the other. Any one who can, I think has serious problems!
There were so many things I wanted to say in this blog but alas, after putting it off for a week because I didn't have time and now trying to do it in a hurry before putting Tyler down for his nap and feeding Kayla, some of what I wanted to say has been lost over time. I just wanted to say that kids are a gift from God. I love both of my kids from day one and I would do anything to protect them. Do I get frustrated sometimes, yes! Do I need to be alone sometimes, yes! Do I ever think about what life would be like without them, yes! I THINK about it and it scares me to death! If something ever happened to either of my kids a part of me would die inside. Hearing the words "I love you mommy" just melts my heart. Even if I have baby throw up on me while one of them is screaming in their room with their toys spread ALL over the floor, while poop was spilling out of their diaper....It just wouldn't matter. I love them any ways...throw up and all and I wouldn't have it any other way!