Does the same thing happen to you?

Do you ever have one of those moments when you are surrounded by noise and people and things going on and you just suddenly get lost in your own train of thought and realize just how lucky you are? This happens to me a lot. Cody and I were talking on the phone this evening before I put Tyler to bed and he mentioned how he has been gone for almost 5 months. It totally shocked me. By this time I am usually SOOOOO depressed and just DYING for him to come home and hold me and for us to get to be a family again. This time around being here in Utah with my parents and his parents and others, it's been such a blessing. I have been able to not get in the self pity mode that I often get into when Cody is gone on a trip and I miss him so. I was then thinking about it after I put Tyler to bed and I was waiting for him to fall asleep. Cody and I were trying to get pregnant for 9 months when it finally happened. I know that's not that long but with Tyler we weren't even trying so we didn't think it was going to take that long. It was really discouraging at times and I just kept thinking, I know we should be having another baby soon. It was so unexpected when it happened and now that I look back on it, it was the perfect timing. YES, Cody is gone and missing out on most of the pregnancy but he gets to be home for when the baby is born. Plus, I am having lots of help from family while I am here and there are tons of small miracles that go along with it. One being something I meant to write in here a long time ago and never did. I will go ahead and share it now.

When I started bleeding and had to go to the ER I was so worried as any pregnant woman would have been. I kept praying and telling Heavenly Father that I totally understood if it wasn't meant to be, but if it wasn't meant to be PLEASE help me be strong enough to get through it. And I was really worried about Cody. It's one thing for me to handle grief and depression when surrounded by family but when you are in Iraq with no friends really and NO FAMILY WHATSOEVER, it makes things a lot harder. When I found out the baby was still alive and for the most part everything looked okay, I said another prayer. I thanked Heavenly Father for giving us the opportunity to be parents again and I again asked him for help. I knew how needy Tyler was with his mommy and I was worried about things like him wanting me to carry him places and things like this. The Doctor said no heavy lifting and um HELLO my kid weights 40 pounds. I was really stressed about it and I am telling you ever since that night when I said that prayer at 3 in the morning while sleeping on an air mattress on the floor next to Tyler's bed, Tyler has sat in a shopping cart almost EVER trip we have taken to the store. Even at places like Target where he would NEVER have gotten in one before. It was the smallest little answer to a prayer but a HUGE blessing at the same time. Things like this make me feel so blessed.

Cody's parents came over today and I just love getting to see them and Tyler misses them so much when they leave. Then my parents were both home later and he had so much fun playing with them and I just thought of how blessed I was to have this opportunity for Tyler to get to know his grandparents because normally he wouldn't have had this chance. Yes, my husband is gone, it sucks and I CAN'T wait to have him home ( I'm horny okay! ) heehee, but many blessing still came from this and I am truly blessed...